How to have a joyful summer with your kids

There was a trend on social media recently where mothers lamented the realization that they would only have 18 summers with their children. My children range in age from 18-22. They are all home right now either because they have never moved out, moved back in, or still visit in the summer. I tell you this to release you from a little pressure. Enjoy your summers with your kids. But remember, under most circumstances, your relationship with your child changes, but doesn’t disappear just because they graduate high school. You have more than 18 summers with your kids. In fact, I enjoyed working on a summer project with my mom this very week and I’m in my 40s.

That being said, each season is special. If you’re in the season of life where kids are little, unoccupied, and in need of supervision, summer presents a nice change of pace and an opportunity for some precious memories. It can also be a little stressful as you navigate how to keep them occupied and supervised–especially if you’re a working mom.

I thought I would share a few ideas about how to navigate the summer. It’s inspired by summers at the Newcomb Farm when our kids were little.

Talk to your boss about amending your summer work schedule

I’ve worked direct service jobs that required a person there in the moment on a very rigid schedule. So I know not every job has flexibility. But you may find that your job is more flexible than you realize. It’s worth checking in with your boss to see if there’s any wiggle room in your schedule. Here are some quick tips about how you might approach that conversation.

Create a summer co-op with other families

We were fortunate to have close friends who had kids close to our kids’ age. Several summers we swapped kids (2 days a week at their house, 2 days a week at ours.) It gave us each 2 days per week to work without kids at all and 2-days per week where they kept each other company and reduced the constant clamor for entertainment. One year, when our work schedules were less flexible, we went in together to hire a babysitter to come to our homes. This was more expensive than splitting the childcare between ourselves, but it still reduced costs significantly.

Create a loose summer schedule

Summer is fun partly because it allows for a less rigid schedule. But one way we staved off the requests for entertainment was to have a loose schedule for the afternoons. They could sleep in a little, do their chores, and then do unstructured activities, but we would have a loose set of activities that we would roll through each day of the week. Visit the library and participate in their summer reading program. Go to a you-pick farm weekly. Have a friend over in the middle of the week. We might go to the park or pool on Friday afternoons. Even small things like “Ice Cream Wednesday” offered enough structure to our days to mitigate a total sense of loss. If we went to the library during lunch, they would have books that afternoon. Knowing a friend was coming over later, gave them something to prepare for.

Facilitate a new hobby

When I was a little girl, my mom bought me a beginner’s cross stitch kit one summer. It kept me busy most of that summer. My boys got very into making paper airplanes one year. We bought them books, experimented with different kinds of paper, and had some pretty epic tournaments with grandparents. We bought a Steph Curry MasterClass one year for one of our kids. Woodworking, legos, cooking, and cupcake wars have all been summer hobbies.

Embrace boredom

My mom was an expert at generating chores in response to discovering we were bored. To reduce the number of new chores we acquired we learned to never tell her we were bored. That’s a pro-parent move right there. We weren’t allowed to watch TV in the summer, but somehow we always found things to do. For my kids, I kept a supply of crafts, books, legos, sports equipment, and a limited number of snacks they could try at will. Until they were teenagers with phones, screen time was reserved for the weekends. Sure, they told me they were bored, but I think boredom is a gift that catalyzes creativity.

Summertime is wonderful and it’s a good break from the rush of things. Enjoy it to its fullest with your kids. But don’t fall into the trap of feeling guilty for not maximizing every second with them. The freedom and boredom they experience in the summer is the catalyst for responsibility, creativity, and their own unique childhood memories.